I've seen so much, and experienced such wonderful things, but took everything for granted when it happened. Now, I appreciate the memories more than the experiences when they happened. When I close my eyes, I can revisit everything. For a member of the peasant class, I've had a damn good run.
No feckin' crotch droppings to shackle me, no stupid credit cards or stupid mortal flotsam priorities like vanity or keeping up with whoever. I was also born early enough in the game to have gotten away with things you just can't do anymore. . .like riding in the back of a pick-up over the San Mateo Bridge, walking miles along a shoreline park in the middle of a windstorm in the middle of the night way after curfew where my ears ended up hurting like crazy from the cold and wind, and the most hedonistic days of my life in Frisco where one day I ended up eating at The Stinking Rose that used to be on Broadway and having my first serving of garlic mashed tatties, though I wish I hadn't ordered rabbit. It was pretty good, but sheep/lamb/goat is way better; though I no longer eat it. I went up Telegraph Hill, slid down the stair rails and got friction burns being in shorts, went to the Wax Museum which is now closed, another museum next or almost next to it that I can't even remember, the Wharf, made my way to Lombard which I went up, to the now defunct Curios and Candles. I ran half the way of my journey, including the one point whatever miles to the BART station from home. After I got back I was wiped, but I still walked home. I stopped at a Mexicanese bakery, and all I remember getting was the cream horns, though I bought some other stuff too. I think the bakery was about a half mile from the house.
Another time I went on the sub they had by the wharf, and an old sailing ship. . .Balclutha. It was a nice ship, but I wouldn't want to be so confined for so long. Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live there, ya ken?
I made a Hell of a lot of money in those days, statistically. My overhead was also kinda low. I ate out a lot, and tipped VERY well. I developed a relationship with my favourite restaurant owner, an for a price they would fix me things off menu. Baby back ribs from real babies was not available though, despite them being Chinese.
Oh well.
Oh, visiting an ancient graveyard on a high hilltop. . .or was it technically a mountain? Castle ruins that people lived in. Miles and miles of a dirt road through tiered olive groves, with blackberries galore in places; perfectly ripe, delicious, and free for the picking. Forested backyards that went on forever in the old days when I had impeccable sense of direction that deserted me when I was 15. Going down the mountain we live on in NJ, and wading through a stream below. It had little fish in it. I loved walking in the woods. Still do, but I have to drive or do some serious hill climbing to get to them now. After all, we live on the first ridge. Anyway, it's just not the same.
There is a few things I really wish I hadn't done, but isn't that the way with most. I won't do them again. If I'd been trained to stand up for myself, I wouldn't have done the worst of them; having succumbed to peer pressure, but that's life.
What's left here, though? The end of an era. Lot's of suffering, starvation, war, weather havoc, and lots of death before the new era sets in, and it ain't gonna happen overnight. It's gonna be a lot of work. Hard work! I want no part of it. I know better. My time here is through. . .for good. . .after my contract is up. Might be in a couple of months if I'm lucky. Or perhaps mid-autumn if I'm not.
I can't know for sure. Between what I'm getting from my political research and a disembodied feminine voice giving my my age one night in bed, how can I know? I'm not even sure what 'she' meant? My transition, or just a major change on this prison planet? well, I don't have long to find out. Maybe it meant nothing at all. I have to consider that. It won't be the first time an Outworlder misled me, and it won't be the last. . .until I get to where I'm going.
Though for what good I remember, I HATE this place compared to what I've seen during my NDE. This realm. . .so confining, so STUPID! Oh what a double edged sword. . .to know too much, yet too little.
I didn't feel like blogging much today. By now you should know to go to my sources.
