I'm ready. I'm happy. I WOULDN'T WANNA BE ANYONE ELSE!
I've treaded light, compared to most.
I've done less damage to the environment.
I fed the system as little as possible.
I left my mark in so many ways.
I've broken records in ways that no one cares about.
I've gotten away with things I better not post.
I've walked through forests in the back yard in a mountain range.
I've been to and on Sveti Stefan.
I've walked up a mountain to a graveyard that overlooked the Adriatic.
I've walked through many kilometres of olive groves.
I free-climbed a mountain cliffside when I got stuck and couldn't get down.
I was almost killed by a donkey once, and a mule on another occasion.
I've climbed to the top of Vernal Falls.
I've seen Death Valley.
I've done a static line parachute jump. (And misunderstood all the directions.)
I've walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
I used to be a freerunner before the word existed.
I've flown in light planes. (I hated it.)
I walked the levies of Coyote Hills.
I've had my picture taken with me on top of a phone pole.
I ran under a utility truck as it was pulling out of a petrol station.
I've befriended a blackbird, and it used to follow me at a park until one day it wasn't there anymore.
I was flown to New Jersey to rescue a data centre site. It took me a week.
I've befriended raccoons to where they'd come right up to me.
I worked 45 days in a row once.
I worked a 24.75 shift once.
I had several meetings with Reverend Delorise Lucas. (AWESOME LADY!!!)
Our album is a major hit on SoundClick.
I've been a poet, a writer, a musician, a visual artist. (I now refuse to do any more.)
I worked for 19.5 year stretch without once calling in sick.
I used to be able to clean and jerk 95% of my weight. (When I weighed 107 lbs./49 K after my 45 day stint.)
I survived getting hit by Southern Pacific, and have met Death. (Still here. Had a job to do.)
I've been on underground radio interviews in character.
My work is famous, though I'm obscure.
I spent most of my life doing what I wanted to do.
My art has hung on other people's walls.
I was invited to ride in the drivers' area of BART a number of times when I went to school in Frisco.
I've been to Curios and Candles several times before it was destroyed.
I've been up Coit Tower, and seen Julius Castle up close, but never ate there.
I've seen a building undergo controlled demolition, live. My flatmate filmed it, and we ate out after.
I've saved a few lives of varying species.
I was the cornerstone for the building of a millionaire, and I walked away.
I've been to Death Valley.
I've had fresh jackfruit
I've been to the Wax Museum by the wharf.
I've lived in places where I would walk into the woods that would go on forever by going into the back yard.
I've stopped production for a few minutes at my present job by something I said, more than once.
I once caught a metal beam in a warehouse, preventing it from landing on someone when we were disassembling everything.
I threatened to flush a kid down the toilet and he believed me.
I got written up for distributing a cannibalism essay at work.
I have been so many things that some dream about.
Now I'm a complete has-been.
I could have been so much more if only I didn't have a dilettante attitude about so many things, and if I hadn't wiped myself out so bad when I was 15, but all's good. Ultimately, very few regrets. And I wouldn't have done what I do regret if I'd stood up for myself, not that I was programmed like that. I would have gotten the shite beat out of me if I had. I was under 12 when my biggest mistakes were made.
Of course I did some really stupid things as an adult too, but I suppose that's all good now too. I did everything I came here to do, and a bit more. A lot more, actually.
Most important of all, I think I know where I'm going. After all, I do have a touch of Akashic Knowledge. Not nearly even 1% of what I want, being I value omniscience more than anything, but I'll take what I can get, and keep whats I gots.
If only I knew when my contract was up. Not sure on that, but me thinks it will be before year end.
Then I can go and make Pinhead look like Mother Theresa. But I probably won't. Maybe.
Oh, I dunno. I'll see what I can get away with.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
